Lessons I've learnt while pregnant
My Due date is hastily approaching! 5 weeks to go and I will be a mumma bear. It's a scary thought. As I write this it's nearly 5am and I'm lead in bed wide awake. Pregnancy insomnia is so fun! I'm realising how fast it's gone and reflecting on what I have learnt since finding out I was expecting....
1) Who your true friends and family are... When your pregnant you find out who is truly there for you, supporting you, happy for you and beyond excited for you. I’ve lost a lot of people out of my life while being pregnant and those who have remained with me, I’ve never felt closer too. 2) Pregnancy is tough going! This may sound bad but the person who said pregnancy is the best time of your life was so wrong! This not be the case for everyone, but it has been for me. I’ve suffered a lot during this pregnancy, it has changed me as a person, mentally and physically I’ve been drained so damn much.
3) Having the baby move in you is weird The first time I felt my baby move was when I was around 15 weeks pregnant. I woke up around 3am and I could just feel this weird sensation in my belly. From then on the baby has been super active (which is reassuring) but it feels strange! I’m currently 35 week pregnant as I write this and my stomach has gotten in some very weird shapes at times!
4) Cravings How the cravings have driven me insane! I’ve spent so much money on things I’ve been craving! Also, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out where in the hell they have come from! Before I was pregnant, I barely ate fish fingers, like it was rare I ate them...now I can’t seem to get enough of them! Also, I’ve been really enjoying the sweet taste of apple juice lately, which seems to be like rocket fuel for my baby bear.
5) Sleep during pregnancy Especially for the last trimester, sleep has felt near impossible I’m constantly tired and drained (low iron doesn’t help) but trying to get a decent night is rare! I wake up so many times either to try and get comfy or go to the bathroom or because bear is having a good wriggle around...guess its nature’s way of preparing me for the night feeds though! As I write this post it is currently 5am ...may as well do something productive of I’m this awake! 6) Hardest time yet I found out back in March I was pregnant...if anyone reading this has seen my previous posts you’ll have seen what a tough time I’ve been though. I’ve suffered from serve morning sickness...mental health issues (had to come off meds to protect baby), a mega breakup and trying to finish my MA degree. It has been mentally draining and has pushed me to beyond my limits. It was only last week on the 30th September I managed to finish my MA degree. But it’s made me realise that I am stronger than I ever knew, despite all this crap I’ve been through. Don’t get me wrong there have been numerous times where I’ve wanted to give up with things ...but I haven’t and I’m amazingly still going.
7) Reality of being a 1st time mom This pregnancy wasn’t planned and now being 5 weeks away from my due date I am beyond terrified about being a mother for the 1st time. Having such a tiny precious thing depending on you 24 hours a day. It’s definitely a full-time job and going to be hard ...but knowing that it’s my own flesh and blood keeps me going. I know that there is going to be times where things get tough, where I am exhausted or frustrated and won’t always get things right but despite me trying to read as much as I can about becoming a parent...it’s different for everyone. 8) I grew a human being?! Hats off to me! It’s amazing that my body has done! For years I’ve not been the healthiest person in the world, I’ve suffered for being underweight for many years, on and off anaemia and other various things but yet...my amazing body has adapted and grown this tiny human being! Okay YES it’s not been the easiest thing to do but I still cannot believe I have done it. 9) My sense of smell. Sounds random I know! But since being pregnant I feel like I’ve become a sniffer dog! My sense of smell has heightened so much and certain foods I use to eat I cannot stand the smell of now, for example, broccoli or BBQ sauce, even the smell of it and I want to puke! Some morning I will wake up and my mom is cooking and before I even open my door, I can tell what it is! 10) The energy of an unborn baby I cannot believe how much energy my son has! It’s crazy, he moves so much...probably why I’m drained all the time the little vampire sucking away my energy Haha! But then there are some days (not often) where I don’t feel him kicking my ribs or punching my pelvis and it does feels scary. As much as he kicks or thuds maybe uncomfortable it is reassuring to know he is active and healthy because again I’m not the healthiest person ever and admittedly not eating super healthy like you’re supposed to because the smell of any veg makes me nearly vomit! But he gets into all these different shapes and I have these tiny to huge bumps come up and move around...u stare at my tummy and think to myself what in the hell is that? Like what body part of him is it?!
11) Body temperature Before I was pregnant, I use to be one of those people where I was cold ALL THE TIME. Now I’m boiling constantly! I wear thin clothing and even now in nearly mid-October I’m still in shorts! I’ve been sleeping with the fan on OR keeping my window open until my room is cold to sleep...its crazy! I use to hate the coldness but now I can’t get enough of it. 12) Loving someone I’ve not yet seen I’ve not yet met my baby bear (his nickname) but even just seeing his tiny little face on my scans I’ve had ... I already adore him and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. I love him so much already and it’s crazy to think that because I’ve not met him yet but he can hear my voice and (I think) feel me when I have my hands on my tummy when he moves. I’ve been through so much physical and mental pain while he’s been in there cooking away and I swear at times he knows because when in sad or have been crying ...he starts to move around until I put my hands on my tummy. It’s a strange bond to be forming! 13) Learning to slow down I used to be someone who was always on the go, I liked to be kept busy and was always too stubborn to ask for help when I needed it. Now ...I can’t do that. I’m 35 weeks pregnant and feeling like a whale, that is constantly tired and cries over little things. I’m so slow at even walking now! I’ve had to cave in and ask for more help despite my stubbornness because I physically cannot cope with doing my usual routine anymore. I’m beyond grateful to have my family there... especially my mum who’s been my rock through all of this. I’m finding it tiring to even make dinner these days and the super star she is, everybody makes me a decent meal to make sure I’ve eaten properly. 14) Pillow mountain! When I do eventually sleep these days, I have to been surrounded by pillows to get comfortable! I have the pregnancy pillows but I have to have one between my knees, an extra one for my back and so on! Literally feel like I’m sleeping on a mountain of pillows to be comfy! 15) I Cannot plan life I have slight OCD and loved to keep organised. It makes me feel calm and focused but after finding out I was pregnant...I realised I can’t plan my life or my future as much as I like to think I can. During my time in uni I had it all figured out. I was going to finish my dissertation early then get a full-time job and save up to move out. HAHAHA! How naive I was! Now it’s a case of going day by day, having that ‘To do' list but not knowing if I’m going to get anything off it done. I hope I can even if it’s something small but there are days where I’m exhausted or aching too much to do anything and it does make me feel useless but then I remind myself you are growing a human being!
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